The World According to EDW

Scrapple Two-Ways, originally uploaded by crau1971.

Like some weird Chinese restaurant in some alternate universe. I'm in Red Bank, and Liz's husband and her high school friend decided to have a scrapple cook-off in honor of my being there, and having never tasted the scrapple. Being from New England and all, we don't get the scrapple much up here.

Nick slices it thin, and cooks it really, really slowly. Moira cuts it thicker, and cooks it in oil, searing one side to make sure it sticks together later when it's flipped. Given the choice, I prefer the thicker cut slices, with a little more crust. However, given the choice, I'm not sure I'd even eat it again. But, I chalk this up to the vegemite experience from the spring. Tried it once, and can definitively say it's not my cup of tea.

For more information about what I actually ingested this morning, go here. Try not to gag too much. And for the record, my intestines are rebelling against this.

Courtney is here. She drove down from MA this morning, and now we are sitting at my kitchen table and I am making her read Midnight Sun on her new shiny, pretty Mac Book that is all silver and recyclable and did I mention shiny? It's very pretty. I want to pet it.

Anyhoo, I am going to post lots and lots of pictures and tell you stories and if that doesn't happen fast enought for you, feel free to follow me on Twitter - the link's the bottom of my page - because I have finally installed Tweetie and now can tweet from my iPhone like I should. Also, I put a wallpaper on my iPhone. It's Twilight, of course. The obsession is going very nicely, thanks.

How's it going there, for you?

Ingrate.

That was what my mom used to call me, jokingly or not, when she was really mad at me. It was pretty much the worse thing she could call me, because anything else I'd probably have accepted happily. Disrespectful, rude, smartass, sure. I'm not humble. I'm not modest. But I do try to be grateful.

This year I am thankful my mom is in remission. I'm thankful my child is healthy. I'm thankful we elected Barack Obama.

I'm thankful for the friends this year has brought me, and the deepening of other friendships. I'm thankful we get to be happy and not be thankful for every second. I'm thankful that this year is relaxed and easy and nothing like last year.

I'm thankful for books and music and reading and writing. I'm thankful for the diner I eat lunch at every Friday. I'm thankful my Christmas tree is up tonight.

I'm thankful for the internet, and blogging, and all those social sites we waste time on. All of it does keep me connected.

I'm thankful for the husbands of my girlfriends, who are my friends, too, like Stu, who always leaves me comments marked Anon and is perhaps my best blog reader.

I'm thankful for the good times we are having in my life, when circumstances might dictate otherwise. I'm thankful we are laughing and living our life and doing new things.

I'm thankful for every good thing in my life, every good moment. I am thankful for the table we will sit at tomorrow, with my parents and Nick's parents and Emily and Nick and I. I am thankful for the food we will eat, the wine we will drink.

I am also thankful for what we have learned from the bad things, not those things themselves, but what they gave us - support, love, friendship. I am thankful for what I learned from the challenges, what I am still learning.

I am thankful for my life. Thank you to my family and my friends and Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I hope you all find something to be thankful for.


Yes, even you Canadians not celebrating today.

I would really love to sit here tonight and write something deep and meaningful on my blog. I've had some really good conversations this weekend, been pretty happy, and hilariously annoyed, too. I have other things I could write about. But to be completely honest, I have to write about Twilight.

Yes, I'm obsessed. I thought I had read the first two books and was just into it, slightly. Interested, enjoying them, like a normal person. I was going to wait to read the last two until the movie came out, so I would have the book in my head and not be so far ahead. Also, I liked the story. I didn't want it to end.

I'm like that with Jane Austen. For years I held onto the last Austen book I hadn't read, just holding onto it, because I knew when I was done that was it. No more new Austen books for me, and I couldn't bear to let that go. But eventually I did, of course.

So I was holding onto Twilight. Then came book club.

We read Twilight and went to see the movie, and I found myself wholly sucked in again. Just rereading the first one sucked me in, and then the movie on Sunday...I've already made plans to go see it again, and I never, ever see a movie twice in the theater.

Of course I am swoony over Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward. But honestly. it's not the boy who played Cedric Diggory that has me delving back into the world of Forks. It's the story itself. Of course, I was pretty normal until this afternoon, when I discovered that the author, Stephanie Meyer, had posted her unfinished manuscript for Midnight Sun, the book that tells Twilight from Edward's point of view.

And now? Now I am cozied up on the couch, reading every word of a story I know well but now from the point of view of the dreamiest, most inscrutable hero since Darcy himself. And the best part is, it's not a fanfic...it's the treatment the original author wrote. It's a fangirl's dream! It's Lucas telling the first episode without Jar Jar Binks. It's...I have no more comparisons. Supply your own. And try out the series. It's so worth it to find something new that draws you in.

I wish that Stephanie still lived in Brooklyn, so she could teach Emily the correct pronunciation of "excusez-moi, s’il vous plait". My mom used to say this to me all the time; even thought I took French in college, my words don't sound anything like what they should. Stephanie, however, would teach Emily the right way to say it.

I wish I had already lost my last 9.4lbs and was at goal.

I wish I didn't see so many people working at Target - I wish customer service wasn't about to get really, really good with the layoffs and the economy like it is.

I wish I had a nice, steady gig. Or any gig at all.

I wish the local food pantry wasn't begging for donations while sales are up at the local high-end fashion store.

I wish I wasn't so torn about giving away Emily's baby things. It's this constant push-pull of being ready to part with some things and not with others. But people need the donations, and I feel it's wrong to keep things in storage when there's a real need for them.

I wish I would stop whining and really see what Karen pointed out last week - I am blessed with a beautiful family and great friends.

I'm happy that I'm about to meet some more of my friends.

I'm happy that I married Nick. For many reasons.

I'm happy for what we have - a healthy child, a beautiful house, and the best friends in the world.

I'm happy to be seeing a new band on Friday.

I'm happy that this Thanksgiving, we are thankful for my mom's remission from cancer. What a blessing, and may I never take this time of happiness for granted.

I'm happy that my friend found a job so quickly.

I'm happy that I am friends with these two awesome women:


I'm happy that I have friends to miss, things to look forward to, and the ability to sit here at my kitchen table, alternately whining and celebrating.

I'm happy in this moment, for today.


Would more pictures make you happy? Here they are.

Courage is not freedom from fear. It is being afraid and going on.

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

I am surrounded by courage lately.

This could be a mediation on what courage is and how the small things we do can count the most. But it's not going to be. I'm no good at that line anyway. I just want to say, I'm proud of you.

Jami, for pursuing your dreams. Patrick, for holding your family together when your wife was sick. Lyz, for booking those plane tickets. Sean M, for being in Afghanistan. Courtney, for being home alone on a Saturday night. Jodi, for letting go of more than weight. Erika, for facing some scary things with grace, and I don't mean the "half". Sean Q, for your new job. Stephanie, for handling the whole thing on your own. Cousin Lisa, for getting up every day and trusting it will be okay. Dom, for doing what you have to, and silencing the voices at night. Nick, for speaking up even I don't like it. Dawn, for telling the truth and feeling the emotions. Greg, for the steps you keep taking. And me, for saying what's in my heart despite my fear.

This list isn't exhaustive, and it isn't complete. There are plenty of other examples, but those are the ones that jump out at me today. In my conversations with my friends, I see them making choices that confront fears. I see the links. I see, like Robert Browning wrote, "the whole design; I, who saw power, now see love perfect, too".

I'm proud of you for trying, for doing, for being. For keeping on.

This is why it's really nice to have a photographer who occasionally follows you around and documents your life.




It helps that this photographer is off the hook good and one of my best friends. Hire her.

Do you ever really want to talk to someone, and then everyone you call isn't home? Does that ever happen to you? It happens to me. It will be the middle of the day, and every person I know is either in a meeting or out of the country. Or maybe it's 8pm and I'm on IM by myself with nothing left on my TIVO to watch. But strangely, no one is around to play.

Of course, it follows that if one friend calls me six others will call in the same hour; I have two invitations to go out on the same night; and when husband is home and child is up, there are 5 people I want to talk to online.

If you are ever really, really, deeply bored, please feel free to find me on Facebook, Twitter, or ask for my IM name. I will either totally not be around or will be desperate for conversation. Count on the latter.

Today was not one of those days, but it was the day I realized that it is definitely time to get back to my training. I was very consistent when I was getting ready to run the 5k, going to the gym and running and spinning and taking yoga and all other sorts of cross-training. After the 5k, however, I entered Party Season. I went out every weekend, entertained friends who were visiting, and just generally gave up my good routine. But now that I'm in between gigs, I have plenty of time to exercise. This occurred to me today, sort of belatedly, as I was back in my regular Friday morning spin class. I have no job. I have time to exercise! Why am I not using this time?

In case it wasn't clear in another post, since I don't talk about work a lot, I am actively looking for another gig. My last clients were lovely, and it was good while it lasted. Except now I am bereft of both work and income, and that's just a drag. If you know someone who needs a good writer and editor, who promises never, ever to blog about their clients, please send them my way.

And while we're on the subject of writing, go write a blog post, would you? I need something to read. I think that maybe my go-to writers are suffering post-election blahs. Or maybe we're all just too busy detoxing from the alcohol we drank in celebration or suffering. But drop the detox and tell me a story. I'm very fond of stories. I was remembering a series of stories I wrote a few years ago, some of them which never saw the light of day, and some that I put on another blog under a different name. It might be time for something like that again. These days when it's rainy and slightly cold always feel like big loose ends to me; like time with nowhere to go.

Let's get in the car and go somewhere.


Ten bucks if you can id the lyric without googling it, and you know why it's weird for me to use it. Seriously, I'll Paypal it to you.

Last night I went to see the much heralded but still sleeper movie, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.

You should just stop what you are doing right now and go see it. Barring that, read my review and then go see it. Deal?

Now that we've got that settled, let's move on. If you are not my friend on Facebook, you probably haven't see the pictures from Halloween. Which is such a shame, because what's more fun than a pretty straight-laced guy dressed as a transvestite? Nothing, I tell you! Nothing is more fun!

So, without further ado, I present you Janet and Brad, Magenta and Frankenfurter. And some other motley characters that wandered in.

Brad, Janet, Frank, and Magenta:


Our goth rock album cover:


It was hard not to laugh when I vamped:


Daphne and Scooby:


For the record, I ditched the wig. That's my hair. One of my girlfriends thought it was the wig and told me it looked great. Oh, no, Kath. That's just a lot of hairspraying and Jersey girl hair at it's finest. We had a completely fantastic night, in case you can't tell from the pictures. There was a good cover band, and a fun crowd, and Windmill cheese fries to end the night. What more could you want?

Take a look at the whole set.

The truth is, I can't just throw up my Rocky Horror pictures and say "Now this is over, and we never have to speak of it again." Mainly, because that's not what I do - never speaking of something again just smacks of a paperback Victorian ripoff romance to me, and it doesn't play in real life. But also, because I want to speak about it.

The first election I voted in was 1992, and like many of my generation, I voted for Bill Clinton. I remember the excitement on election night when he won, watching the news and calling friends on our landlines and just being happy to be part of something that felt really good. Before that, whenever asked, I pretty much agreed with how my mom and dad voted, and that was the first election I thought for myself.

I have continued to think for myself.

I am a registered Democrat, but mostly so I can vote in primaries in my state. I don't follow the whole party, or get engaged on all the levels of it like "real" Democrats do. I'm a barely-on-the-books girl, someone who shows up once a year to cast her ballot, but doesn't work the system, doesn't know all the players. I also find myself voting across party lines, because when you think for yourself it becomes pretty addictive.

And I live in one of the most conservative and Republican counties in a liberal and Democrat leaning state. Like, no one here has Obama signs on their lawn. We can count the number of cars we see supporting the man who will be President, and my friend Kim and I kept a tally, very often seeing the same car again and again. I have lived in this county nearly all of my life, and despite some brief trips to college and the like, this is home. And at home, they don't think like I do.

My friends, by and large, do, although I kind of assume everyone doesn't (unless they are Canadian, of course) and am pleasantly surprised when one says that this year they were hopeful. That this year, they saw change was possible.

Here, we have been hit by the economic realities of our nation. Here, where that yearly bonus is what keeps a family afloat, friends of ours are struggling to stay in their house. Others have lost their jobs entirely. And on a smaller scale, not only am I out of work, but I am owed a chunk of change that is not going to come to me until the economy improves. It's imagination Christmas all around.

I was up late last night, just to be sure I didn't miss anything. When Jodi wanted to leave to go to bed, Greg said "But we've come all this way - don't you want to see how it ends?" We laughed about how close the distance is between our two houses, but he meant it metaphorically, and he was right.

No matter who you supported, the call around the nation is to support the President Elect, to give him a chance, to bear witness in a positive way to the history that was made. I love that call. I've been listening today to a very conservative radio station, and I like hearing that call there. We are a fair cry from eight years ago, when the country was suspended, waiting to hear who would be President.

I am not entranced by Barack Obama like I was by Bill Clinton - heck, I'd still sleep with Bill - but I do think he is not only what the country wants, but needs. I think he is the best man for the job, and I have a lot of respect for John McCain. In years past I would have easily voted for McCain, and Obama did not rock star me like he did so many others. To be perfectly frank, I kind of hate that designation. Bruce Springsteen is a rock star. Barack Obama is a politician. It's not the same thing. However, past opinions and personal observations aside, the people have spoken, and I agree with the people.

I am proud to be American today, and not just because we made history. I'm proud so many of us voted. I'm proud that people are more engaged in the political system. I'm proud that those whose candidates lost are embracing the ones who won. And I'm excited, because just imagine if we all stay tuned in. Just imagine what we could do!

It's Election Day! Are you excited?

I am. I am so pumped. I LOVE voting. I love that we get to vote. I totally love and adore the concept of voting, that in 2008 it matters not what race or sex we are, it matters not if we are land owners. We all get to vote. And better, we get to vote without fearing for our lives or safety. We can disagree. We can campaign. We can drone on boringly on our blogs about our candidates of choice. How awesomely cool is that?

Election Day rocks.


"I continue to find everywhere I go that America remains a repository for people's hopes and desires. That despite the terrible erosion of our standing around the world, for many we remain a house of dreams."

-Bruce Springsteen, November 2, 2008


I know some of you are tired of the coverage, over the blogs and newscasters and papers and politics every where you turn. But honestly, doesn't that quote make you want to run out to the polls right now? That's our house. We get to decide who runs it. We get to hire the President. We get to shape the dreams of our nation. How cool is that?

Check in and tell me if you voted. Not for who, just a roll call. Because today, it's not about the candidates, it's about the People. And like we said in the Constitution, that's us.


By the way, have you read the Constitution recently? Good stuff. I recommend it.

Emily says: "Get out and vote!"



And look how happy you will be!